Of Meetings, Breakups, and Tori
by StarryEyedDreamer6
Summary: The eventual downfall of Beck and Jade/ Or, Jade's inner thoughts about everything. Only follows Victorious episodes until TGP.


**Hi! I'm Ruby, and I ADORE Bade. This is my first story, and it's just a one-shot of Beck and Jade. I wrote this in August, i think, so I've had to change it around a bit and stuff, but I like it! It's a bit angsty, and I use she too much, but that's the format of the story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything mentioned in this fic. I'm a fan of Victorious. Not its owner. :( Which I admit, is depressing. **

1. _Beck_

The first time he sees her, they're on opposite sides of the street, and he's just captivated by the girl who's staring so hard at a page she's holding she could burn a hole in it and singing softly to herself. He can only hear little strains of sound, but what he can hear i wonderful. But then he bumps into another passerby on the nearly deserted street, and he forgets about her, mumbling apologies and rushing off to his friend house, realizing that he was probably late already.

1. _Jade_

The first time she sees him, he's not much of anything. But, to be fair, she isn't either.

They're both just faces in a crowd, especially in the crazy crowd of Hollywood Arts wanna-bes. They lock eyes for a moment, then she lets herself be swept along in the crowd of geeks, singers, musicians, and people with every other talent. She reminds herself that she's supposed to be making a new image for herself, because this is _her _chance to actually be someone. And she's not letting it go for anyone. How her dad now ignores her is just one example.

2. _Beck and Jade_

The next time they meet, it's 6 months later and she's got streaks in her hair and a sassy attitude. He's got lustrous brown hair and sparkling eyes, and it's the first day of school. They barely recognize each other, hardly remember how they know each other, but they gravitate towards each other anyway, because they are the only ones they even remotely know, and it's comforting to have a familiar face. They stare at each other for a minute, until Jade simply says, "Hey."

And then they're learning what makes each other tick and soon they're not Beck or Jade, they're _BeckandJade_, because they've pushed each other into their lives so much that there's no Beck without Jade and no Jade without Beck. They know every little thing about each other, or so they think, and they're so different that they keep surprising each other. And it's nice.

3._Just Jade_

Then _Tori Vega _comes, and Jade doesn't even know what to think anymore when Beck just kisses her in front of everyone. Because everyone thinks Beck and Jade belong with each other, but now she doesn't even know if she knows him anymore. She never expected him to go to such lengths just to teach her a lesson, and, watching them kiss, she sees that he enjoyed it. So after the agonizingly long last few minutes of class, she runs out to the janitor's closet, doing one of the only things that has been constantly comforting in her life, cutting up things into bits and pieces, because it calms her when she puts them back together, although she never tells anyone_ that_ part.

She finds it almost poetic that she enjoys cutting up things, because that's what Beck seems to be doing to her life and she just can't take it anymore. And there's none of the putting back together that she so desperately needs.

But then he comes in at it's all sorrysorrysorry and rushed explanations, and she gives in, like she always does, because his puppy eyes and pleads always do her in in the end. She starts to wonder when she started to give in so easily for things that hurt her more than she'd care to admit. Then she's reminded of her mom abandoning her and she remembers that she's always been like this to the people she cares about. She decides to make up for that _big _weakness by being even meaner to the people she doesn't care about, and it evens out. At least, that's what she thinks.

Eventually they start fighting again, and she gets _so _aggravated. She needs to feel secure again, so she asks if he wants to break up with her. His answer is always no, because he's Beck and she's Jade, and pigs would fly if they broke up, because them dating was so impossible in the first place that everyone (_everyone!_) expects them to stay together, even those _Northridge_ girls. Jade remembered when her being together with Beck for eternity sounded like a good idea. But that was before Beck started acting like he was her dad, before she learned what it was like to have him enjoy making her jealous. She never thought that love would feel like this. Does it?

And then they make up, and it's all sparkles and rainbows, and Jade finds herself lost in those big brown eyes and those soft pink lips all over again. But she forgets that sparkles remind her of her awful step mom and rainbows are just pointless drops of mist that get lucky and shine.

Then she sees him with _Alyssa Vaughn_, and she gets sad. Depressed. Thinking that maybe she isn't enough for Beck, that she will never be enough, and for a moment she lets herself wallow in her lake of self-pity. But then she gets mad, remembering the times when she was one of the nobodies, and how she swore to herself every day back then how when she became someone she would _never _go back. So she doesn't go back into hiding, and shows her feelings, hoping that they'd would make everything better.

They break up, and Jade can't fix this one on her own.

So she goes to Tori Vega, because she always gets out of situations, and why not? She's _little miss perfect _and everyone bows down to her. Jade almost feels as like it's her job to dislike her, because if she doesn't no one will, and anyway that's all she's ever been expected to do anyway, right? Hate. And suddenly Jade doesn't like being a somebody so much anymore.

Next thing she knows, she's in Tori's living room, falling apart and trusting Tori with her broken pieces with the hope that she knows how to fix them. But even Tori isn't a miracle worker, so Jade settles for getting Beck back, and even though she isn't sure if that's what she wanted, that's what she asked for.

And for a while, it's all better. She should've know it wouldn't last. It never did, for her.

But then the jealousy and the sensitivity start again, and Jade feels herself changing. She is no longer her own person, she hasn't been for a while, and she doesn't like it. Most Northridge girls don't know her name, just as Beck's girlfriend. She wonders if that's the most she'll ever be, but she stays possessive of Beck, because she's worked this hard for him and she's not giving him up. He's practically all she's got.

Beck and her do another Relationship Advice video then. It ends in giggles and noogies, and Jade remembers why she loved Beck. Loves Beck. And that's what keeps her going, the rare moments they have where they're alone. She's just Jade and he's just Beck and it feels so _good._

One day, she learns he's from Canada. She _hates _Canada, but unlike some of her other hates, there's a reason. But he doesn't ask, so she doesn't tell. And she wonders why she thought it would be different this time.

But even on those days, they are still okay. They still understand each other, feel for each other, but it's different.

Another day, the fighting starts again. And this time, it doesn't end. For a week, it becomes a constant, her blowing up at anything, and him exploding eventually. Because even Beck had feelings, and

She misses school one day, during the fights. And he doesn't come like she hopes she would. Like he would have done. They both know that something's off, something's _been _off, for a while. And even though Jade doesn't blame Tori, she knows that it started the second Tori walked through the doors of Hollywood Arts. Maybe she was just in denial, maybe something was off all along and they just ignored it. But to her, it all started with Tori.

And she should've known it would end with Tori. She didn't mean the breakup.

Sure, that was hard. She had thought, had bet all she had on him opening the door. And she had lost. But she was talking about the Platinum Music Awards.

Tori was one of those rare people who rejected a kiss from an attractive and sweet guy because her maybe kind of friend was his ex. And how could she have taken away an opportunity like that from her?

Jade West, surprisingly to all others, hadn't shut out all of her feelings. It kind of hurt that they thought less of her for taking the offer, but it hurt more that they thought she took it to spite Tori. It would've just been given to someone else anyway, and god, it was an amazing opportunity.

She heard Cat say once, uncharacteristically solemnly, that her heart broke that evening at the Vegas'. But how could it have broken when it wasn't even whole to start with?

**This was very slightly inspired by Because of You, by Kelly Clarkson. That's where the last line came from, anyway. I know that parts of this might be a little bit out of order, like the Relationship Advice and the whole Canada thing, but this is how I wrote it, and it sounded weird when I tried to switch it around. And sorry I used then and but and next too much. I couldn't think of how to replace any of that. And actually, now I'm thinking of maybe making it a two-shot, but I don't have any of that written and I can't promise that it'll be good, if I ever do write it. I will post this as complete, though. Please review and tell me what you think! **


End file.
